Every once in a while my brother will send me a text message to turn on the Disney Channel. Without changing the channel I know what I will turn on will be one of a few things; The Lion King, Aladdin or Mulan is on, or one of the dozens of Disney Channel Original Movies will be playing.
This time, late on a Thursday night it happened to be The Thirteenth Year, a Disney Channel Original movie about a 13 year old who slowly turns into a Merman. As I watched the show I started to think about the countless Disney Channel movies I had watched with my brother and tried to determine which was the best of the dozens created. As I write this we are in the midst of March Madness and so it hit me, a Disney Channel Original Movie Tournament needed to be created. So I immediately sent my brother a text and asked him his top four Disney Channel movies. He then responded with “I’d like to make a bracket of Disney channel movies.” If the two of us could both come up with the idea it had to be done. So I present to you, the 2014 Disney Channel Original Movie Tournament.
Our tournament will have 32 Disney Channel movies from 1997 until 2004. Newer films are not included because we haven’t watched them. The films are seeded based on our personal rankings of the films, completely biased. We will decide our winners as well, completely biased again. If I could open this up to a large-scale vote I would, but that just isn’t feasible. So let us begin our tournament.
Our first match-up sees our number one overall seed (1) Johnny Tsunami vs. (32) Kim Possible: A Stitch in Time. This match-up is a no-brainer; our favorite Hawaiian transplant easily advances to the second round.
(2) Brink! vs. (31) Halloweentown High is our next contest. Being the third movie in a pretty fantastic series just isn’t enough to beat the amazing Brink!. The Soul Skaters move on.
Our next match-up is (3) Luck of the Irish vs. (30) Tiger Cruise. Tiger Cruise is one of the newer Disney Channel movies that people my age never had an affinity for, but the film does star Bill Pullman, our favorite President. After a strong push by Tiger Cruise, Luck of the Irish pulls away and takes it, simply for being a classic Disney Channel movie with an actually fun plot.
Our final number one seed (4) Halloweentown takes on (29) Tru Confessions. Halloweentown is one of the most well known Disney Channel Original Movies, and certainly one of the best. Tru Confessions is an underrated film staring Shia Labeouf, but Marnie handles Tru here and moves on easily.
Moving on, (5) Smart House vs. (28) Hounded, this contest is pretty simple as well. Taj Mowry just isn’t enough to give us our first upset, but the incredibly entertaining Smart House, which could have been a one seed, makes it through.
(6) Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire vs. (27) The Cheetah Girls. Here is our first legitimate challenge between a high seed and a low seed. The people that are running this tournament are men, men who didn’t really enjoy The Cheetah Girls. There is no question that The Cheetah Girls left quite an impact in the Disney world. The movie launched an entire brand while its challenger Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire simply was forgotten. Unfortunately for The Cheetah Girls though, Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire related much more closely to myself. Which is why with a last second shot at the buzzer, our number 6 overall seed moves on.
Getting passed our first nail-biter we move on to (7) Motocrossed vs. (26) Full Court Miracle. While I admittedly have a soft spot for Full Court Miracle, a true story based on Jewish basketball players, the entire concept of a girl pretending to be her brother in Motocrossed is too ridiculously hilarious for me to eliminate it here. Motocrossed advances easily.
One of the most popular and well received Disney Channel movies (8) Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century takes on (25) Miracle in Lane Two. This one is not even a contest. Sorry Frankie Munez, Zenon advances.
Up next we have (9) The Even Stevens Movie vs. (24) Cadet Kelly. Two Disney Channel stars face off here with Shia Labeouf going against Hillary Duff. I have to admit I was a huge Even Stevens fan and this movie is just an extension of the show. Shia bests Hillary, which he has pretty much done his entire career, until maybe recently.
The next contest is (10) Phantom of the Megaplex vs. (23) Horse Sense. Another almost upset as the Lawrence Brothers take on Phantom of the Megaplex, but it’s just not enough as Horse Sense doesn’t hold a candle to Phantom of the Megaplex.
One of the original Disney Channel Movies (11) Under Wraps takes on the sequel mentioned above (22) Jumping Ship. Under Wraps, the story of a mummy befriending kids is a classic, but again the Lawrence Brothers advance, especially since all three are present in this sequel to Horse Sense.
One of the most popular Disney Channel franchises again heads into the feature film format with (12) Jett Jackson vs. (21) The Color of Friendship. Of all the movies Disney Channel made, The Color of Friendship might be the most important, especially with its subject of Apartheid South Africa. Unfortunately, Jett Jackson is an absolute powerhouse and moves on.
Moving on, (13) The Thirteenth year vs. (20) Quints. We finally get to the movie that got me thinking about this tournament, The Thirteenth Year. While Quints does star Disney Channel Movies Queen, Kimberly J. Brown, The Thirteenth Year does just enough to best her.
Another Sequel, (14) Zenon: The Zequel vs. (19) Up, Up, and Away. The Sequel to the hit Zenon takes on one of the lesser remembered Disney Channel Movies Up, Up, and Away, a story about a superhero family. What does Up, Up, and Away have that Zenon: The Zequel doesn’t? Kevin Connolly, you may know him as E from Entourage. Up, Up, and Away advances.
Next we have (15) Double Teamed vs. (18) The Ultimate Christmas Present. A true story goes up against a movie about a present that makes snow. Our future WNBA players move on easily.
Our final matchup in the round of 32 is (16) Rip Girls vs. (17) Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge. Our final matchup is another upset; Marnie is able to move on once again in this surprisingly great follow-up to the classic Halloweentown.
We now have our Sweet 16 set. The favorites are still in the tournament, a few upsets happened in our first day. Stick around for the final rounds to see which movie will be crowned champion.
Remix to Culture 